For the past two weeks I have been anxious, moody, unable to sleep, and sort of having a constant sinking feeling in my stomach. I couldn't figure out what was bugging me. But when I woke up this morning I knew immediately. I have been dreading this birthday for a whole year now. I knew it had to come someday, I was just hoping that it wouldn't be so soon. TWENTY-SEVEN!!! 25 was fun, 26 was no biggie, and now I feel like 27 just smacked me in the face and said, "Whitney, get it together!"
Last time I was home I was looking through a photo album with some high school photos and memorabilia and came across the "Senior Spotlight" in the local newspaper. I was featured in this short, little spotlight when I was 18. It asked my favorite food (spaghetti) favorite color (purple) favorite memory of high school (which I'm sure I made up something) and where I saw myself in 10 years. My answer was travelling around the world making a living acting and directing. That was 9 years ago. I have one year left to accomplish that goal. Okay, that's not true, I have my whole life to accomplish that goal. But sometimes it sure does seem like time is ticking away. On top of all that, I just read an article that said for most women their prime time for getting good acting jobs is a small 5-7 year window and that window usually ends at 30. Cue my over dramatic tantrum, rolling around on the floor like a 3 year old crying that "I'm doomed to be mediocre for the rest of my life" and "I'm going to be old too soon" and "Three years is hardly enough time to win my Oscar!"
But at some point during the day my attitude changed. Maybe it was the moment where the mom of Makayla (a girl I babysit once a week) asked me how old I was today. Her guess was 23 or 24, but only because she knows I graduated. When I said 27 she didn't believe me. So yeah, I guess I'm not too worried about "getting" old, because I still pass for 18 most of the time. But also because I still feel like that wide-eyed 18 year old who doesn't have a clue and just wants to explore the world and experience everything! But mostly, my attitude changed when I started (at 6:30 AM!) to receive phone calls, texts, and LOTS of Facebook posts just reminding me how much I am loved. Despite the fact that I worked literally from 9 AM to 11 PM because I forgot that it was my birthday, others did not forget. And I felt so special because of that little fact. It's nice to know that whether I'm 17, 57, 107 or (sigh) 27...I am loved. And because of that, I'm going to be just fine. :)
P.S. My parents sent me this birthday card and it cracked me up. Aren't they the best?
P.P.S. I came home to this! Ice cream and a cosmo magazine. I'm going to go stuff my face with sugar and have some girly giggly time with my bestie. :)
